As do most of my subjects this one arrived riding a bit of a tangent. It comes from reading a selection of blog entries provided by a kinkster trying to justify his way of life to another fellow who is even more outspoken against such things than I am. The blogs were all from women who were attempting to reconcile claiming dual allegiance to the seemingly incompatible realms of feminism and bdsm. You'd think you'd get a mushroom cloud and a destroyed city should those two get in close proximity, and yet the authors maintained they embraced both in their lives. Their claims were at best of only passing interest, beyond the fact I'm actually becoming rather impressed with the ability of the kinksters to rationalize to the point of being ridiculous anything as acceptable no matter how obviously fucked up it might be.
No, what tweaked my attention wasn't the idea of a libber lady with a flaming red bottom who pacifies grandpa's ghost by doing penance for her feminine freedom embracing abuse in the bedroom, what caught my eye was the fact that all of the several authors expressed (in a suspiciously casual manner) a common sentiment as a part of their rationalization. As I thought on their writings it dawned on me I've been seeing that sentiment as one of the most ubiquitous attitudes common to all the kinky people. It's so common it might well resolve out as a true psyche marker for those at risk of going if not already gone kinky.
The fact that came to focus was this: everyone I've ever known or corresponded with of the kinky persuasion has always, always drawn a hard black line between what they identify as their "normal" self and their "sexual" self as if they'd already accepted a fragmented personality as something normal and healthy. Now I've known a few truly lusty ladies in my day, skilled and enthusiastic in the bedroom arts, and none of them ever expressed this dichotomy (here's to you girls, diaayamn but you were such good fun, and such good company... ). They'd say "when I'm being sexy I like to..." or words to that effect, in essence (usually with a large and lascivious grin) taking full ownership of every element their sexuality as part and parcel of the persona they lived day to day.
Folks, that's a deep thing when you think about it.
The question that goes begging is this: when sexuality gets set off in it's own little world as something separate from the life wherein that sexuality operates what else gets segregated away into little cubbyholes where the "normal" parameters of ethics and morality become mutated, twisted and inverted compared to those that govern the public persona? Business ethics? The judgment parameters of the social wisdom required for a democracy to operate? The perception and emotional balance required to do a good job of child rearing?
It's a total no brainer (for those who've spent any time working with reality) that once things start to fragment the cracks tend to spread every time what ever it is gets subject to any load at all. Yet another reason to challenge the spread of the social forces that produce the kinky world, challenge and defeat those forces while there's still a society to be defended from the forces of chaos that in the end serve those who desire to destroy and enslave the United States of America.
Cyranos, you're definitely on to something here. I agree with all you wrote and would add that perhaps it is in fact The Great Coverup itself that has caused us to divorce our sexuality from the rest of our lives. I address this in a story I wrote several years ago, called Wedding at Cana (http://jochanaan.deviantart.com/art/Wedding-at-Cana-113183309 ). (Note: You'll probably have to get a deviantART account to access this, if you don't already have one.)
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