A vaguely Klingon dish I would judge. I might acquire a taste for it. Maybe. And yes, you guessed it, I’ve had occasion to eat seaweed salad because she’s back. Omega, that is, in the flesh. As always she’s a challenge and a delight and yes, occasionally a bit of a heartbreak. But the years have shifted us, grown us, the heartbreak no longer bitter, the poignancy of the changes a sweetness to savor.
Gentle reader, I must trust you’ve the depth of soul to understand how this is for me. This is a story book kind of thing, one of those Indy French movie kind of things, and it is happening in my life in real time. She’s half my age, we’ve been acting like we’re half her age, and the dreams shared are most definitely the dreams of hot blooded youth facing a demanding future.
The intent, and the initiating event, of our affair is our alliance in the cause of building, establishing, an intentional community of the sort that is going to be desperately needed in the years to come. There is an ever growing number of individuals who are challenged in finding a place in conventional society. A great many of them fall within what is called the autistic spectrum. So often these individuals are heavily dependent on their parents, often totally dependent on them. Parents, however, are not immortal and as the years continue to run there will be an ever growing number who, having outlived their parents, will be unable to fend for themselves in the macroscopic society. They will need somewhere to live, a means of dignified survival. It is our intention, Omega’s and mine, to establish such a place for these people.
The alliance to create such a place is the foundation of the love affair we’ve come to share. In spite of our years, or perhaps in defiance of them (she’s done as much living in her years as I have In mine) we hold the passions of the physical to a simple standard: they must justify themselves in the understandings they enable, the understanding of self, the understanding of other, the understanding of the full scope and scale of what bringing such a dream into reality entails. It is a strange parenthood we propose to undertake, strange indeed, but parenthood is the only comparison found to the scope of this dream. And so after nearly seven years of platonic friendship we’ve allowed it sound wisdom to incorporate an affair of the flesh into our relationship, by design that affair set as it is found in nature: a source of emotional sanctuary and deep nurture provided one parent to the other to sustain them in the larger work undertaken.
So yes, you’re reading me right. Love has returned to my life, and no, I’ll not apologize. It feels good to have a purpose, a noble purpose, it feels good to have a good woman who shares that purpose, it feels good to share love with that woman. It feels very good to fully and truly live as a man again. I had almost forgotten what that feels like.
*** *** ***
p.s. In posts to come I’ll be speaking of how we plan to pull this off, we do have a plan. The next few weeks are going to be busy, I’ll catch you later when things have settled down after the move.