Yes, they were, both of 'em. My former boss that is, and his arch rival. I'm pretty sure the rivalry between the two men was somewhat of a legend back in the day, back in their industry. Pirates, and skilled managers of the sort that actually keep the world turning. You know, the kind of men John Galt was looking for. I learned a great deal from them.
You see, for my boss the job we were working was more or less just a sideline thing I think, a way to keep retirement from becoming to terribly boring. It wasn't supposed to turn into the fubar'd mess it turned out to be. You know, one of those things where corporate did half their job and then retired for martinis leaving those in the field to figure out how to make the damn thing actually work. I got to work with one of the old men of the mountain when things were down and dirty. You hated to see him coming, and you heaved a sigh of relief when he was there. Nine out of any ten times he'd make one hell of a mess and then go to lunch leaving you to clean up the disaster, but on the tenth time his thirty years of experience would find some traction amidst the confusion and things would get better. Interesting times they were, the kind where once it's over you go "damn, that was fun."
Anyway, I made the cut to supervisor and among the things that came with the promotion was a week long seminar concerning how to do the job. That was when I met my boss' rival, who was providing the education to fill his retirement. Now when I attended the seminar I had no idea of the relationship, kind of figured it out sitting in the man's classroom. When I got back I asked after the whole affair, and was told the general idea was "what I can't teach you I knew he could..." It was an expensive week for the company, but in all truth probably the best week of school I ever sat through.
One of the thoughts given me during that week has full vindicated itself against the test of time, and as I think on my new intention, my new mission, I'm realizing it has just as much of a place in my campaign against the perversions as it does in the interpersonal side of herding a process between the barditches without getting anyone killed. It's a deep thought with a whole lot more implications than meets the eye on a first glance.
The saying goes "rank comes from above while authority comes from below."
Rank, position, these things do indeed come from above. The company, the army, the society, someone puts a title and a responsibility on you and expects you to make it happen. Authority though isn't something awarded, it's earned. That authority you absolutely must have to meet whatever that responsibility might be is a respect and a confidence granted you by those you lead in common cause towards a common goal. Solid wisdom. What has come to focus for me has to do with the interpersonal consequences of the same dichotomy.
To be a lover, to have love in your life is a form of rank, it is. Someone entrusts you with their heart, and you trust them with yours, and with their heart comes the responsibility to look after the well being of their happiness in return for them looking out for yours. Bottom line is that does require a bit of authority coming and going. Not a lot, but it has to be genuine in both directions for the love to prosper and thrive. Basic monogamy 101 sort of stuff, been true for oh say the last 100,000 years.
The problem I see has to do with how the concepts involved with a formally defined status have migrated across the last couple of generations when there's no acceptable social entity to bestow the formal titles and definitions. To many folks have been raised to be totally dependent on their society, they've been denied the right to be their own certifying entity even in matters as personal as love. That confidence has been beaten and ridiculed and psychoanalyzed right out of them in the name of socialization. Net result? They're totally vulnerable to any and every fad or fashion no matter how bizarre or brutal it might be that offers any hope of resolving the conflict their society foisted off on them. Kinky or Vanilla, Hetero or Homo or Martian seems to make little difference, regardless of their tastes in the bedroom arts for far to many the life skill of maintaining love is a failing and fading thing.
Folks, that's a problem. For love to be life sustaining it has to be a stable and continuous presence, it can't be a here today gone tomorrow back on Thursday wearing a different set of garters kind of thing. Just doesn't work, what you get is a culture suffocating in jade and despair not long to endure. You know, kind of like the one we're living in.
The fact that of all the fads being pushed into service to fill this gap the one most specific on the subject of rank and authority is my enemy bdsm, the debauched and perverted descendents of the Marquis de Sade. Some coincidence, a most revealing coincidence, that its’ also the fasted growing of the bunch. Hmmmmmmm... back in the factory days they used to put some cashews in my bag of peanuts for noticing things like that.
Interesting, isn't it, how one boss/coach/conductor or leader of any kind can scream, shout, cajole, offer bonuses or detention or executions, yet receive no results -- while another says one word and his/her underlings get the job done, no question or hesitation. I've seen it in music: One conductor flails and shouts to an unresponsive orchestra, another just raises her hand and draws musical fireworks.
ReplyDeleteI think it comes down to just being good, being competent, compassionate, and confident. Folks that good don't need arrogance, in the boardroom, the bedroom or the rehearsal room. If the goodness isn't there, no threats or rewards will draw results; if it is, rewards and threats aren't needed.
And in the bedroom? I don't think any couple or combination of folks can sustain sexual fireworks without mutual love and respect. And a shared sense of adventure doesn't hurt. But if these things aren't there, no practice however extreme can arouse or sustain them.