Concerning rage... and BDSM

This post is somewhat of an extension of the post "Tactical: Vigilante and Succubus" where I spoke to the idea of memories manipulated to bias the emotional environment of a moment to favor evil's needs and intentions.  Such manipulations are a powerful weapon in the enemy's arsenal of things that create misery.  But powerful as that is there are other things equally if not more powerful, and rage is another of evil's favorites because rage is not well or widely understood.

Rage is not anger.  I want to say that square out right up front.  While the two states may present a common pattern to the outside they are actually quite different on the inside.  Anger is a rational response to an affront, an insult, a threat to something recent and current.  Anger is a thing of the current moment while rage is the sum of old angers never resolved that have condensed and crystallized under the compression of justice miscarried into a single discrete pattern of self sustaining thought bridging between the conscious and the sub-conscious mind. 

Give that a moments thought, consider the implications of one discrete pattern of thought bridging across what nature intends to be quite separate realms of existence.  Yes, to set it into analogy it does resemble a short circuit, and not even a short to ground where the mechanism stops functioning but rather a short between circuits where power flows out of sequence, and out of control.  In other words, a dangerous state of affairs for the individual and all those around that individual.

I must be honest here, if I'm not I'm defeated.  In the post "Call me Dinosaur" I referenced a question that has plagued me the majority of my life, the question of why do the perverts seem to seek me out way, way more often than can be explained to any visible reason or motive.  In that post I said I had my answer.  Well, I did, at least to the surface level of events to be seen in the common reality, the second reality.  But the fullness of that answer must equally include things from the inner reality, the first reality of man where the true power source for actions and intentions originate.

There is a rage in me, there is.  It has been a bit of an epiphany for me as I've come to understand the nature of my own rage to realize I've never, ever met anyone involved in the bdsm lifestyle who did not also carry a rage imbedded like a spike into the fabric of their life.  The reasons for the rage, the depth and intensity of the rage of course varies widely person to person, me no exception.  But the mechanism of rage is consistent, and it is that mechanism that they recognize in each other, recognize in me.  The one point where I'm different than they is that the original injuries that condensed into my rage were derived directly from unwilling exposure to the brutalities of bdsm as a child.  Because of the nature of its' beginnings my rage runs a true 180 degrees opposite on any and every axis of thought, but it is still the same mechanism, and in me it is quite powerful enough to set me vigilante, set me lethal.  Answer complete.

As Paul Harvey would say, that's the rest of the story.  Now the question becomes how to take a rage, an anger crystallized into a rigid structure removed from the present, and break that crystal down into a powder fine enough to be flushed out of a life… and do so without all the things that were built on top of that crystal from falling into the hole that will be left when the crystal is gone.  I'm going to pursue that thought relentlessly until I'm confident of the correct answer.  I'm hunting that answer for myself, and for all the others who suffer in one way or another to the same injury.  In such an answer as that is my hope to ultimately defeat and remove from the collective memory of mankind the evil of bdsm that worked such injury on my life.