Something Happy...

It never fails, at least in my life.  If some new joy arrives right along with the joy comes some source of sadness.  I’ve had a good woman come into my life as a friend, a woman and a child and the return of life to be lived.  And with something living came something dead back to life to be a torment and a torture as balance opposite.  I’ve been getting beat up by my past taking advantage of my present, and I’m tired of it.  I’ve been on the defensive long enough, it is time to give battle and counter attack. 

The question is of course how does one attack sadness?  To attack is to impose suffering, even death.  But more of the same does nothing to remove the first source, it may be superceded by the more powerful sadness inherent to the attack, but that is simply sadness replaced by that sadness, sadness remains.  No, you must dismiss sadness with happiness holding a more powerful place in your head.

What happiness's do I know that can overwrite the wounds of a lifetime gone by?  Oh, there's a few I know, a few…

To sit of an evening with a little one on your arm, cuddle the young one close and rock them to sleep, feel them go limp in your arms as sleep takes the day away and delivers them into dreamland… to see them smile, and curl into you… yea, that's a serious happiness that runs deep into your soul every time it happens… just like it does when you do the same thing for the little one's mother after she's gifted you those soft sounds of ecstasy as you were taking the needing from her with soft hands and kind eyes, set her into that place where the glow of her contentment will light the room around her… yea... 

It's close, to close to risk a shift, you reach for that last 1000 rpm and it's there for you, that minor key scream as your garage sweetheart pulls hard passing redline giving back to you all the hours of massaging parts and agonizing over split thousandths you spent building her… you don't have to believe you did it right, you know, it's a proven thing and that is a sweet thing as well…

The sun is riding the western horizon, you stop and look back on your day, what a day, and you see it is done and well done.  You turn for home weary, aching, the sweat dried to an abrasive on your skin.  You walk in your door, and are greeted with the smell of fresh bread baking, you don't even get your boots off before your woman is on you, her hands on you and she smiles as she helps you undress, silencing your thanks with a finger across your lips and a promise in her eyes… "no baby, no, tonight it is me for you because you earned it for both of us…" 

Yea, I've known a few of the joys of manhood, and it is those joys recalled that allow a man to stand on his own ethic and his own faith against what the darkness' of the world will throw trying to drag him down.  It is the good things that make it all worth the effort.