A Day Off... or, idle hands are what?

There are places in Escherville you want to think three times before you enter...
if you enter it's at your own risk. There are those who haunt such places whose
only existence is based on the souls they steal... no matter what they look like.

Sue me, I took today off. Things were starting to blur, blend, nothing was moving forward. This retirement thing is gonna kill me if I'm not careful. I was always an overtime hog, now there's nothing to let me know how many days in a row I've tossed my brain up against walls high and hard with the full intent of forcing a passage. Most of the time if I can't blast a hole through some wall I manage to build a scaffold to get over it, I have a pretty good track record all things allowed for. But for the life of me I don't know why I do it, I've never known why. I just see the problem and say "well, maybe..." and then the rest of my world takes that to mean I've got the answer on tap ready to toss out on the table. How little they know of what kind of effort it takes.

Somehow I think it's some sort of phase inverted anti-hero thing, half ego trip and half penance for being able to make the attempt. So many seem so helpless, and I never know, never have. Are they really that helpless, or are they just faking it to set a guilt trip on me so I'll do it for them? I don't know. Probably never will.

So, since I don't know? Today I said fuck it, and just played. I didn't write on any of the four works of fiction underway, I didn't do any design work, not on the air conditioner that will run net negative energy footprint on the ecosphere, didn't touch a thought involving the thermocharger system for the old VW to put him up in the 35 mpg range,  didn't even open the CADD file where there's this odd little project underway to design a modular structural system to set up stand alone little houses that run off grid so clean they're legal in wilderness areas. Nope, I didn't.

The lil' house thing would be a lot easier if the spec wasn't that the individual modules (that can gang together to make a portable village) didn't have to be a highway legal load riding a flatbed float behind a big pickup. I shouldn't bitch, allowing for the ecofreakiness of those who might be interested I'm lucky they're letting me have a nasty old gas guzzling torque monster of a one ton dually. I'm betting the purists among them would rather use a ten head mule team, and pick up every turd from the trail to use as compost. They mean well, even if the net effect of what they're talking about would in a matter of two generations have drug the USA kicking and screaming back into the brutal and brutish lifestyle of an early 18th century peasant.  I guess it's my job to see to it that doesn't happen, if I can. I suppose that's why I do it, I might be able to hold a line somewhere mid twentieth century for 'em. Left on their own devices I don't want to see what would be left.

Anyway, I said fuck it about ten pm last night, so my day off will be over here in a few hours. Think I'll nose back in by going to the greasy spoon and going back to work editing on what I've had in the can for over a decade that should have gone to the publishers long ago. Gotta have something out there with some kind of potential to generate some coins or all the rest of it is wasted effort in the final accounting.

Catch you later. I still got four hours. :-]