At the end of the day...

It must have rained upstream,  washed some things down into the river of life.  Seen a bit of everything float by here the last day or two.  Ok, someone wants me to review what I think I know.  Fair enough, I have. 

Of all the things reconsidered this one small thought stands out as probably the most important thing I’ve ever learned from all the strange places and peoples, all the years of struggle and strife, all the beers and all the tears. 

It is more important to love someone than it is to have someone love you.

Yes, it is.  And no, that isn’t a call for emotional altruism, in point of fact it is absolutely selfish as backwards as that might sound.  How can that be selfish?  It’s really not so hard to understand.  You have to love someone to actually understand what love is.  You have to care, really care, about the state of their life, the state of their heart.  You might be their lover, share sex, shoot for the moon every now and then, but that’s not so very important, not compared to loving them.

As long as you love someone your heart won’t shell out and glaze over with scars and callous.  As long as you love someone you’ll remember what love is, you won’t lose that understanding to the cynicism of life.   And that’s very, very important because if you love someone you’ll be able to recognize what is happening when someone loves you.  You’ll be able to recognize the love they’ve offered to you, recognize their love for what it is, and accept it.

So if it comes to pass that you love someone, genuinely love them, and they can’t return your love at the same level you offer it?  Don’t be bitter and sad about the situation, don’t begrudge them their choice.  They’ve still done you an immense favor by helping you keep your heart open and alive, even if they can’t they’ve made it possible for someone else who can. 

Alex, who understands the work of Eros 

Thanks Alex.  I have no idea, none, how many people you helped keep an open heart.  I have no idea how many of them even understood what you were doing, how much love you enabled into the world.  I have no idea if anyone has ever thanked you for that, but if no one else has I will. 

You carried me across a time when I might have totally forgotten what love feels like, a time that might have robbed me of the ability to know love at all.   I owe you a huge debt of gratitude,  the kind of debt you don’t pay back, you pay it forward.  If I’ve learned one thing of importance in this life it’s that at the end of the day you end up far richer for having paid the debt of love than you do  if you default.